Judge scolds Albert Haynesworth’s lawyer
Wow, even with the lockout, it’s just like football as usual around here 
Albert decided he did not have to appear in court to face charges of sexual assault.
Just like he decided not to show up for practice.
And the judge was surprised?
I wish the NFL owners would play along with the Judge Susan Nelsons order and allow business as usual; including free agency and trades. And I hope the Court of Appeals makes a ruling on their motion to overturn her decision before the draft tonight.
Some teams, I will not mention who, OK the Redskins, could really benefit from this by dumping some unwanted, unloved, not needed, too expensive, and criminally / improperly behaved players in exchange for some draft picks.
But after all the good things that the state of Minnesota and the Minnesota court system, including Judge Doty, has done in recent days and months for the state of football, it would be a shame to allow such horrible things to happen to the men in purple.
But hey, as long as they need a QB and have plenty of white women, I’m sure everyone would be happy.
As you all probably know, Big Al is in a whole lot of legal trouble lately.
1st there was the road rage incident, which after a couple days he turned himself in.
Really, the cops couldn’t locate him? Really? They had to wait for him to suddenly appear at a police station?
And speaking of “wait” . . .
No sooner did he turn himself in and get charges levied against him for assault and road rage but a waitress from the DC W hotel restaurant filed sexual harassment / assault charges too.
It seems that Big Al was done and wanted to do some checking out and she had her hands full of dishes so he asked if he could stick his credit card in her blouse.
And she said yes!
He then allegedly proceeded to check out more than her blouse and place more than just his card in her blouse.
I love how she described the suspect “heavy/fat/stocky”
But seriously, I have to wonder about how credible she is. After all, (and I know I’m about to offend a bunch of women activists) but if you are a woman who when asked by a man if he can stick something in your blouse and you say “yes” , Well . . .
And no, I am NOT defending Big Al on this one . . .
I’m just sayin . . .
Something tells me that he has too much time and money on his hands.
I’m just afraid that with the way this off season and negotiations are going that there are going to be a whole lot of people with too much time on their hands and nothing to do.
It will be interesting to see how all this plays out. Maybe the cops, the impending lockout and the legal system will be able to do what the Redskins couldn’t. And get rid of Big Al for good.
So, all this talk about too much time and nothing to do got me to thinking about the old STYX song “To Much Time on My Hands”.
And re-writing some of the lyrics . . .
And yes, perhaps I’ve had too much time on my hands too
But perhaps you could come up with other covers or verses?
So feel free to comment away !
Well, I’m hitting on this waitress who thinks I’m a fool
I got no conditioning too
And I may not play, who cares about the CBA
And Paul Tagliabue
Is it any wonder I’m not crazy?
Is it any wonder I’m sane at all?
Well I’m so tired of losing and conditioning to
I got nothing to do
I go out crusin but I’ve no place to go
And I got road rage to
Is it any wonder I’m not a criminal?
Is it any wonder I’m not in jail?
Is it any wonder I’ve got
Too much time on my hands
Who will win?
My original idea for this post was a kind of Drama award for the NFL.
We certainly have had (and continue to have) plenty of teams, coaches, owners and players all worthy of some sort of Headline or Drama award this year.
I even had a couple top contenders in mind (Vikings and Brett Favre) vs ( Redskins, AH, McNabb, Shanahan). Yes the Redskin side out numbers the Vikings, but only in candidates.
There are plenty of other contenders out there and everyone (fans), depending on their loyalties and personalities, will have his or her own favorites.
The first dilemma I encountered was how to choose and whom?
One way might be to go simply by number of news articles for 2010. I quickly realized, that despite my , and a certain followers preferences, the previously mentioned; surprisingly are NOT necessarily top contenders.
Google 2010 news articles:
Brett Favre ——— 19K results
Donovan McNabb —— 9K results
Albert Haynesworth — 4K results
Mark Sanchez ——– 11K results
Minnesota Vikings — 21K results
New York Jets ——- 28K results
New York Giants —– 31K results
I could have done more but I did not feel like going through every possible team and player combination out there.
Another way to choose a winner might be to go simply by popularity.
For this I turned to social media to look for answers.
Again, I found some surprising results.
Teams with most Facebook fans:
#1 Dallas Cowboys
#2 Pittsburgh Steelers
#3 New Orleans Saints
#4 New England Patriots
#6 Minnesota Vikings
#10 Washington Redskins
Then we have the number of people who “like” something, or in this case, somebody else:
673K people like the Minnesota Vikings
440K people like the Washington Redskins
1.16 million people like the New England Patriots
1.26 million people like the Steelers
But what about some of the players?
T.O. has 390K people who like him (obviously there is no accounting for taste as you will soon see)
Favre 98K like him
Mcnabb 40K like him
Only 1K people like Haynesworth.
Randy Moss, has 170K liking him.
Ochocinco 1.3 million people like him (Really?)
And, sad to say, two of my personal favorite NFL role models:
5K like Darrell Green.
2.5K like London Fletcher.
Twitter had some equally interesting results for top followers:
#4 Kerry Rhodes
#7 Mark Sanchez
#9 NY Jets
#11 New England Patriots
#16 ndamukong_suh
#21 Vikings
Oh, and now for something completely different, one funny listing I saw regarding “most retweeted” for 2010 . . .
OK, now that I have totally digressed beyond / past my original idea, let me pull everyone back to how to choose and present an award.
For this, I took inspiration from the original photo I so grandiosely trashed. The Oscars and the Academy Awards.
Instead of creating a dull and most likely incomplete poll, I am going to create discussion threads on my Fumbled Returns Facebook Fan Page with the following Categories:
Best NFL Actor
Best NFL Art or Sign
Best NFL Fan Costume
Best Rant
Best Action Shot
Best Sound Effect
Best Unscripted Comment
Best Dance
Best Score
Best Commercial
And stealing one from categories turned down . . .
Best Juvenile Award
Within these discussion threads anybody will be able to nominate their own personal suggestion / link and or agree with one that is already there.
I will keep the threads open through the remainder of the season, including the playoffs and super bowl.
And in keeping with the original inspiration, tally the votes and announce the awards sometime around the real academy awards in 2011.
So, you all have some time to think about your choice awards for each category and submit an entry.
Submit multiple entries if you like.
Or confirm that you end up liking one already there.
Lets see who wins!
Well, it is now officially playoff season.
Fantasy Football Playoffs that is.
And I have managed to qualify in both my leagues.
First, in my Borderless League, I limped into the playoffs by loosing my last 2 games by a heart wrenching 6 total points. No matter, even though I had a mediocere 7 – 6 record, I had the second highest point total in the 12 team league. I won my division (the top 3 teams all tied with a 7 – 6 record) because of that high point total. That means I win the division and I get that all important 1st round bye and a guarenteed extra $50 bucks!
In my Fumbled Returns League of Experts I again won my division as well. Though no money was involved, I do get bragging rights! 
On the real football front, it appears that the Redskin organization has FINALLY getting around to expelling Sir Albert and attempting to recover some of the insanely high priced salary cap hit they have taken.
Has this proven to be a distraction?
Yes.
Was signing him in the first place a stupid thing to do?
Yes.
Were Shanny and Allen dealt a bad hand?
Yes.
Now that he is “technically” gone, will this continue to be a distraction?
Yes.
Reports are asking, and will continue to ask every coach and player and fan possible…
Was this a distraction?
Are you glad it is finally over?
Do you think he will be back next year?
We should have cut him before the season even started, or at least put him on the physically/mentally unable to perform list.
You could have gotten a lot more money back.
