When I hear talk about the Redskins, I think football.

When I hear talk about the Native Americans, I think Native Americans.

 

And yet . . .

They say the Redskins should change their name.  But to what?

They need to change it to something – something less offensive.

Something neutral, something Politically Correct.

 

But what should that “thing” be?

 

How about something that is more representative of Washington.  What do you think of when you think of Washington DC and our Nations Capital?

 

Iconic?

Big?

Cool?

Powerful?

Perhaps, Dysfunctional?

 

Does not the name Washington Redskins fit any of these?

 

Shhh.

 

Lets suppose for a moment that yes, we need a name change.  A change to something more . . . appropriate.

But Dan isn’t about to change it.   Not unless if he is forced to and or he sees a huge marketing opportunity.  And no native american group is going force Dan to change the name or make it so profitable/unprofitable to do so.  Without a really cool, big, iconic and powerful money making opportunity, nobody is going to make him change it – except possibly the NFL and Good Ol’ Roger Goodell.  But that isn’t about to happen either.

It’s Dan’s Team and he is going to do with it what he wants.

Hey, here’s an idea – Instead of Redskins, we could call them DansTeam. Or DanTeam – Careful how you say that last one.  It even fits (sort of) into the fight song and with a little relevant updating could go something like this.

 

Hail to the DanTeam!

Hail to Victory

Lawyers on the warpath!

Fight for the one percent!

 

 

 

 

Ok, so maybe that name change isn’t the best idea.

But iconic, big, powerful fits his ego and dysfunctional certainly describes most of his ten-year as an owner.  Honestly, he has been behaving and doing quite well ever since he hired Shanahan.  So Kudos to him.

However, this change would probably not be very popular nor very marketable.

So lets see if we can come up with something better.  Since I think I could tell if something was big, iconic and cool, I first tried looking up a symbol or logo that meant dysfunctional.

The internet says this is a Japanese Symbol which means dysfunctional.

But how would I really know?

I don’t know Japanese.

Besides, though it is interesting, it does not scream big, cool or iconic.

And perhaps most of all it does not quite seem to fit my idea of a mascot or football to me.

 

 

So then I looked up the definition of dysfunctional – for possible synonyms – you know to come up with some other words and ideas.  And there about half-way down the page, there it was;

Expendable!

Hey this could work.

My first thought was the movie Expendables.

Its identifiable and marketable and tough and cool.

Then my wife reminded me that expendable could also mean “red shirt” AKA Star Trek. This too is very identifiable and marketable – it even kind of keeps the “redskin” theme and RedShirts fits into the fight song.

However, we all know what happens to the red shirts.

Trekkies would probably object to this, and the last thing we would want to do is piss off another small – yet vocal – faction of the population.  Trekkies take their fandom very seriously – almost religiously.  The whole point of this name change is to avoid such altercations.

Jay Leno made a joke which said ” about the only demographic that doesn’t get insulted or pissed off is big drunk white dudes.”  Though true, perhaps, I don’t think it is exactly what we, as fans, or the Redskin organization is looking for.

So, what can we come up with that is big, symbolizes the nations capital, and yet is easily marketable and instantly recognizable. And oh yes, it needs to fit into the fight song.

Hmmm, Lets see;

• Big – as in America , government and yes many Americans
• Cool – as in awesome
• Iconic – instantly recognizable
• Powerful yet
• Safe – not tied to any religion, nationality, or ethnic group.

Something so terrifying that no rational person would stand a ghost of a chance against it.

Hmmm….

That was a hint.  Here’s another one:

 

Choose ! Choose the form of the Destructor!

Oh, Oh, I see, we get to choose the form of our destruction!

 

Yes, we are looking to change the name and the logo – we need to choose

 

The Choice Has Been Made!

 

The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!

Think about it.  This is perfect.  He is a huge iconic figure, instantly recognizable and marketable.  He would definitely get / keep people talking about him, the team and the owner.  He’s big, bloated, soft and strangely decadent and terrifying all at the same time!

He will even fit the fight song!

 

Hail to the PuftSkins

Hail to Victory

Pufts on the warpath

Fight for old DC!

 

 

The symbolism is Great!   Big, Excessive, and Scary!   He Is a made up fictional character – so anybody and everybody in Washington can laugh it off.   Yet he will not offend anybody.   He’s iconic and instantly recognizable.   And a huge marketing opportunity!   Dan could make a mint selling a whole assortment of marshmallow treats at the games for $10 a pop, or more!

 

Think it could work?

Or

Should we keep the name we currently have?

 

Either way – it’s who we are.

 

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Here is an interesting bit of trivia I came across (at least it was for me) while researching the inevitable take over target.

Which company is the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man associated with? Which food company makes these wonderful yet huge puffy marshmallows?

NONE!

The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man did not exist before 1984 or the movie Ghostbusters.  He is a product of the creative genius of Dan Akroyd and part of the Ghostbuster Franchise.  A comedian and pop culture film created this iconic figure that we all know and love.

(almost 30 years ago) – Yes, we are all getting that old.